brraiaaaiinnnssss!!!!

Work:

taught health today. 6-8th grades. it was a lot of fun. i truly appreciate the teacher who leave explicit lesson plans; it makes the day SO much easier.

the 6th graders learned about the brain...we made brain hats. they had to cut them out and paste the different parts on. it was fun, but took a little longer than it should have; they didn't finish so they brought them home.

i got that one kid who was so disrespectful that i kicked him out within 20 minutes of the class. he was such a little prick; i feel sorry for his parents. i warned the other classes throughout the day that i already kicked someone out, so they best dont' test me. i find threatening does work sometimes. :)

the 7th graders (I only had one class) took a test. it was about stress and depression. i took the test for curiosity...and i got 100. i know those subjects all too well these days...

the 8th graders answered questions and we discussed violence. it was actually a really interesting lesson; we talked about the difference between violence in the media vs real life...what's teh difference, why, what kind of effect do each have on people, children, etc. they were very engaged and enjoyed the discussion.

during one of the classes, the phone rang.
"hey, you have a class right now?"

"umm....yeah..."

"I've got a treat for you."

"well, thanks but i'm not Ms. R. she's out today. I'm Ms. B"

"OH!! LOL!! ok, seems all my friends are out today. well, come get the cupcake anyway!"

so i stopped in after class to introduce myself. she handed me a Guinness cupcake with baileys icing. well, what a pleasant surprise. made the day for me!!

Life:

I got a massage.

and not where you'd expect.....

I had speech therapy today. I've been in and out of speech therapy for a year since I had nodules on my vocal cords. started taking care of it in Maine, moved here, finally got insurance, found a new doctor (one of the best around; he was trained by the guy who fixed sandy duncan and steven tyler) and started again. it's been a long road, but today we really made progress. she massaged my neck and voice box - it was cool and creepy at the same time. i heard my throat clicking as the muscles released and the voice box started to move. apparently i hold a lot of tension in my neck (no surprise there). i'm going to be learning more massage techniques that i can do on myself, and hopefully Nap will be willing to massage me. ;)

The Roommate Chronicles:

hate her even more today.

i popped home between school and therapy. she was home and i asked if she was going to be around tonight; she said no. i said "ok, i was just asking because i wanted to do laundry."

she lied.

instead of going out, she had 4 people over. 2 in the afternoon (when i returned around 5:30) which is when the drinking started....2 more joined 2 hours later. it is now midnight - they are drunk and loud and obnoxious and i'm THISCLOSE to calling the cops. they are singing bad 80's songs at the top of their lungs. hate. hate. hate this place.

this weekend:

will work tomorrow cleaning a house, then job hunting, job hunting, job hunting. and trying not to stress out too much. i haven't slept well in a week for various reasons, and i don't see an end in sight. i try to have faith, but it's hard.

i think i said that yesterday. i think i'll say it again sometime soon.

anyway, it's midnight so i'm putting this puppy to bed. goodnight.

The Roommate Chronicals

for those of you who follow me on Facebook (which I'm guessing is the majority of you at this point and time), you know about my roommate situation. I live with 2 girls I met on Craigslist. the primary roommate is a complete bitch - she didn't start off that way, or so it seemed when I met her. she seemed nice; so nice in fact that I practically begged her to let me move in (not to mention the fact that my living situation at the time was, shall we say, less than desirable). i didn't meet roomie #2 until after i moved in.

Roommate #1 has lived in this place for the last 6+ years. it is CLEARLY her place; if anything is left in the common areas it is banished to a corner. any time you're not in a room, she turnes out the light. she's a complete ana retentive bitch, and not a nice one at that. at some point she turned; she was nice when i first moved in, even inviting me to stay (in my own house) for thanksgiving with her friends (i moved in Nov 1). but after that, something shifted. she became a real bitch. so much so that when i had a chance to chat with #2 a few weeks ago, we decided to compare note - turns out she feels the same way.

#1 is the main reason I want to get out, #2 confirmed my thoughts. i wish i could go back and find all the posts i have written about her on FB, but i won't. i will, however, begin to cross post them here (also at the advice of T). it's even to the point where Nap and #2's boyfriend don't feel comfortable coming over; there is ice in the air when she is here. whenever i pull into the driveway and see her car, i cringe. when i don't, i giggle with joy.

i've got to get out.

so here's tonights quick rant about her....GOD does she PISS ME OFF!!!!

**********************************************

Dear Roommate:

I know you're an anal retentive bitch about turning off lights when you're in the room, but you seriously feel the need to unplug my fucking TOOTHBRUSH that I *just* put in the bathroom last night? Thanks - now I can't brush my teeth because the brush has no juice. I hope you at least have enough respect to read my note that I just put there: Leave this plugged in overnight, it needs to charge - thanks. WFT??? do you REALLY think a TOOTHBRUSH is going to drain so much electricity that it will make a difference in the bill?

F*@k YOU!!!!

Day 5: today i faced a fear! go me!

Teaching:

today i went back to the classroom where i started my subbing gig two weeks ago, in a third grade class. when i was there the first time i was in for the "teacher," but there was a paraprofessional inthe room, so she pretty much ran the day. which was fine. today i was in for her and was the aide to the real teacher. the kids we happy to see me; again, i know it's better for the kids if the subs are consistant.

we started the day learning about how to make an inference. it was cool, since one of the examples she used was about the circus (and you know how much i love the circus!). the kids got the idea very quickly, so we did some worksheets, then started math. they are learning fractions, so the spent time cutting out fraction flash-card-like things. since it took them forever to cut, the teacher said we'd continue after lunch (which made me annoyed, since i was 20 pages to the end of Hunger Games and wanted to finish!! then they headed to music. i was glad i didn't have to stay with them; as i walked by the classroom i heard them singing "this land is your land" which, IMHO, is a torturous song to sing! over and over and over....ack!!!

after music, they went straight to lunch, then back to the classroom to continue with math. (i tried to finish the Hunger Games at lunch, but didn't have enough time). since lunch was so late, the only thing we had after that was science.

when i first came into the classroom 2 weeks ago, i noticed the small blue kiddie pool on the table in the back of the room. of course, how could i not notice it? when i went over i saw it was filled with crayfish; they had just started a unit on it and they had the pool to observe them daily.

when i entered today, i made a beeline to the pool; i was curious to know how much they had grown. they had grown a LOT, and i got to see some of the progress some of the cray's made. some...notsomuch. they are cannibals, so the smallest had lost their claws. there was one that was clearly the alpha male; he was twice as big as the others.

today i was told that the science specialist was going to come in and teach the kids how to pick up the crayfish. it's just like picking up a lobster - which i was terrified of doing. but these things? eh, they are tiny lobsters! what should i be scared of?

until one pinched one of the kids and sent him screaming from the room.

at that point, i decided that even though i was a zillion times bigger than this little crustation, i didn't want to pick it up.

but one of my committments to myself is to do things that scare me (*hence how i broke my leg in the fall...another story for another time), so i decided to pick the little bugger up.

of course, i started with on

e that didn't have claws. yeah, i'm kinda a pussy that way. ;)

they squishy.

once i got the hang of it, i had no problem, even taunting the little thing....

heh.

sometimes being a sub is kinda cool.

and i even managed not to get myself bitten. total score all around for me today!

tomorrow I take on 6-8th grade Health. this outta be an interesting day...wish i knew if they were learning sex ed....i can only dream that i'd have to have that conversation - i SOOOO want to teach sex ed!!! lol!!

Life:

i am beyond stressed about this lack-of-job thing. it's keeping me up at night. i feel slightly (ok, more than slightly) paralyzed at the thought of sending out resumes that i'm not even sure are good. it seems each job i apply for i don't even hear if they have received the resume, which is annoying. i feel like the clock is running out; like i'm watching sands through the hourglass, counting down until school ends and i'm totally fucked. i know a lot can happen in 2 months; for all i know i could get a job tomorrow and be moved by May 1 (a girl can dream). i know i just have to keep having faith, but some days even faith isn't enough. and my amazing boyfriend Nap is just that; amazing. and i know he's kinda at a loss as to what to say to me sometimes, as i'm at a loss as to what to say to him. i don't want to keep telling him how stressed i am, so i don't. and he keeps being my cheerleader no matter what. i'm truly blessed to have him.

as i write this, i'm at a really cool little coffee shop/restaurant near MIT as i wait to go to Vagina rehearsal. I'm sorry, for those of you who don't know, I"m in the Vagina Monologues in April. i'm super excited, since it's the first time i'll have been on stage in over 6 years. it's going to be a blast and i can't wait.

i've been sitting here for 2 hours, having warned my waiter that the only thing i'm getting was an appetizer; he said that's fine (it's not like they are busy anyway). I chatted earlier with Nap and was tearing up (from talking about the stress) and my waiter saw me. he just brought over a complimentary brownie sundae....i think there really are angels in the world. and mine just delivered me ice cream.

whenever i seem to loose faith, humanity reminds me that it's not all that bad.

thank you Carlos-the-waiter...you made my day.

Day 5: today i faced a fear! go me!

today i went back to the classroom where i started my subbing gig two weeks ago, in a third grade class. when i was there the first time i was in for the "teacher," but there was a paraprofessional in the room, so she pretty much ran the day. which was fine. today i was in for her and was the aide to the real teacher. the kids we happy to see me; again, i know it's better for the kids if the subs are consistant.

we started the day learning about how to make an inference. it was cool, since one of the examples she used was about the circus (and you know how much i love the circus!). the kids got the idea very quickly, so we did some worksheets, then started math. they are learning fractions, so the spent time cutting out fraction flash-card-like things. since it took them forever to cut, the teacher said we'd continue after lunch (which made me annoyed, since i was 20 pages to the end of Hunger Games and wanted to finish!! then they headed to music. i was glad i didn't have to stay with them; as i walked by the classroom i heard them singing "this land is your land" which, IMHO, is a torturous song to sing! over and over and over....ack!!!

after music, they went straight to lunch, then back to the classroom to continue with math. (i tried to finish the Hunger Games at lunch, but didn't have enough time). since lunch was so late, the only thing we had after that was science.

when i first came into the classroom 2 weeks ago, i noticed the small blue kiddie pool on the table in the back of the room. of course, how could i not notice it? when i went over i saw it was filled with crayfish; they had just started a unit on it and they had the pool to observe them daily.

when i entered today, i made a beeline to the pool; i was curious to know how much they had grown. they had grown a LOT, and i got to see some of the progress some of the cray's made. some...notsomuch. they are cannibals, so the smallest had lost their claws. there was one that was clearly the alpha male; he was twice as big as the others.

today i was told that the science specialist was going to come in and teach the kids how to pick up the crayfish. it's just like picking up a lobster - which i was terrified of doing. but these things? eh, they are tiny lobsters! what should i be scared of?

until one pinched one of the kids and sent him screaming from the room.

at that point, i decided that even though i was a zillion times bigger than this little crustation, i didn't want to pick it up.

but one of my committments to myself is to do things that scare me (*hence how i broke my leg in the fall...another story for another time), so i decided to pick the little bugger up.

of course, i started with one that didn't have claws. yeah, i'm kinda a pussy that way. ;)

they squishy.

once i got the hang of it, i had no problem, even taunting the little thing....

Day 4: No subbing, but lots of prodding....

so i took today off from subbing because i had a dentist appointment.

let me tell you about my dentist appointment....

feb 28 - i ended up at tufts university dental school emergency clinic after the filling cracked off of the root canal i had done in november. since i lost my job in dec, i lost the dental insurance along with it (and my salary), therefore limiting my chances of getting a cap. i figured i'd try to last as long as i could...and that was the limit.

after getting a new filling put in and a finger wagging from the dentist/teacher to get it fixed, they asked if i wanted to be set up with a student dentist to get my teeth looked at/clean/get an evaluation. since i hadn't been to a dentist in years (minus the root canal explosion in november), said sure.

i met SDR. C (*Student Doctor C). she is cute, young and really good at being a dentist. we sat down and she told me the deal: as a teaching "hospital," when someone becomes a patient, they do 3 evaluations first, 3 hours a piece. yes, you read that right: 3 hours. EACH appointment. the first was the medical history, films and impression. the second (which was this past monday) was the in-depth poking and prodding and having her write down everything about my teeth. that was the worst one: the probing of my gum pockets was the most annoying. today we went over my "treatment plan" and she got evaluated by her teachers.

the first one actually only lasted 1.5 hrs

the second, 2

this one, 3. thank goddess i brought a book (yes, i got sucked into the Hunger Games. and now i understand why it's such a big deal; it's a good book!). it was a lot of waiting around for the doctors to come and poke at me, look at my films, and pepper SDR. C with a zillion questions. she was great.

and in the end, if i did everything she recommends, my bill would be just under $3,000.

yeah, so...*that's* not gonna happen any time soon.

why? you may ask....

well, as you know, i'm currently unemployed. and well, keeping a roof over my head and gas in my car and food in my belly is more important right now. (well, i could probably use less food, but you get the point). so i took the "plan", used it as a bookmark, and wandered off to try this little vietnamese place for lunch. $3.50 for a honking sammich? yes please!!

the rest of the afternoon I played TaskRabbit* and cleaned someone's apartment. i like cleaning; i like the feeling of knowing i'm contributing to someone's happiness...that when they come home to a nice, clean house and are happy about it, that i did that. plus i get decent $ for it, so total bonus.

*TaskRabbit is a website that offers "Rabbits" to do your tasks; say you need your apartment cleaned/furniture from IKEA/a ride to the airport/a singing telegram...you post the task and the Rabbits bid on the gig. the person picks the Rabbit, we do the task, and we get paid. i've done a few tasks so far, all cleaning/organizing apartments/houses. I like it because if it fits in my schedule i take the task and make $ under the table. i'll get 1099'ed for whatever i make over X amount (is it $2,000 a year? dunno). and the tasks can be fun.

plus, i'm such a nosey person, i like going to other people's houses. :)

today's task was a request for me to do the task, since i cleaned this girls' house 2 weeks ago. she's been staying at a friends and wanted me to clean before she came home. it was easy and quick and good money...not as much if i had been subbing, but good nonetheless.

and now, here i sit, avoiding my job hunting and writing my blog. :P

ok, ok, gotta go job hunt.

have i mentioned i need a job? yeah....

tomorrow i'm off to be an aide in a 3rd grade classroom. i REALLY wish i could get more middle school assignments...but beggars can't be choosers.

a quick shout out to MS~ next time, call 911!!! don't be an idiot. and... i'm glad you're ok. <3 :)

Day 2: Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing Part Deux

OK, so i decided that i'm going to split this blog into two parts: subbing/work and life/stuff. this way, people who don't want to read about subbing can skip down and those who don't care about my life stuff can read the subbing only (although both are funny if i do say so myself).

Work:

today i ended up in the same classroom as yesterday. i was happy about that; even though the kids were "eh" it's nice to have the same gig 2 days in a row. plus, i knew the teacher would leave me good lesson plans, so it makes it easier to go to the job.

the kids were surprised and happy to see me (minus the few who were the PITA's). we got straight to work finishing off what we worked on yesterday, and starting a new lesson. they are working on a unit on slavery and today we read a short play/scene out loud. i wish i had the time to "stage" the whole thing, but alas, as a sub i don't get that luxury. (sad, but true because it would have been an AWESOME scene if i do say so myself).

the afternoon was easy; they came back from lunch and spent 25 minutes doing math, then it was off to the library, then directly to music. back to the classroom to grab their stuff, then the day was done!

of course, it couldn't be that easy....

school ended and i sent the bus kids off. about 2 seconds later one of the kids comes flying towards me saying "M is hurt on the basketball court!" (remember M from yesterday? yeah, he was still a pain today and i reported him to Principal Cutie who, unfortunately, got called into a meeting and didn't get to deal with M). I ran over to see what happened; apparently he got elbowed in the stomach hard and was doubled over crying on the basketball court. Principal Cutie appeared and picked M up and brought him to the nurse. The last of my kids left, so i went to check up on him. (*M, not Principal Cutie, although that was the bonus). He was fine and they put him on the bus. We chatted for a few; i managed to get in that i was a former teacher looking for a job, and he said he's keep me in mind if anything came up that didn't need certification. (I'm not certified in the state of MA to teach for various reasons, mostly monetary).

Overall, a decent day. Tomorrow: no work (!!!) Got a dentist appointment then a cleaning job in the afternoon to make up for the day off of work.

Life stuff:

So a brief synopsis of my life for those of you just joining my little soap opera: moved to MA a year ago, had a few jobs, lost the main one back in December (it wasn't a match. i was happy with the letting go) and had my unemployment run out last week. Since i wasn't at last job enough time, i didn't qualify for the state extention.

however....

i got mail from the Feds saying i can apply for an extention. figured it was worth a shot, so i called. and hour later i found out that MA didn't look at ALL my jobs; my last job in Maine wasn't added to my benefits. so now i can attempt to claim from ME, but don't think it's going to happen. i can reapply in MA to have them re-do my claim and see if that makes a difference, but it turns out they over paid me, so i'll end up owing. i can ask for a waiver (which they generally accept) and can claim a little bit more. not sure what i'm going to do.

also, other life stuff: living in a place that I HATE my primary roommate (*note to self: no more roommates from CL!) and that situation stresses me out daily. so between being jobless and my living life, things are, to say the least, stressful. today all i wanted to do was break down an cry....at times like that i try to remember that my life isn't SO bad, but it's hard to see the silver lining. my college roomie T calls me the Roach: no matter what life throws at me to try and kill me, i somehow manage to survive, like a cockroach. i know, flattering. but it's true.

the only redeeming thing in my world is my boyfriend, Nap (we'll call him this for now, at least until i ask hi if he wants a different name). we've been together for 3 months and he's amazing. truly the only thing that's keeping me sane these days.

as i search for a job, i'm looking out where he lives and want to move there. there is nothing keeping me in boston proper, he's only 45 mins west, and there's a Trader Joes' and Meat House not too far from him, so it's at least redeemable. not moving in with him; too soon for that. but closer is better, so that's the goal.

ok, it's late and i'm exhausted. long stressful day.

tomorrow: another 3 hour dentist appointment. oh joy.

Day 1: Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.

the school is rather large. and by large i mean there are 3 flights with 3 different wings. and it's an elementary school. why so big?!!? trying to find the office was a feat, but somehow i managed. i signed in, got the info i needed, and headed to the classroom.

pretty typical room. this time however, it looked like I was going to be the only one the whole day. (most of the other assignments i've had before this were ones where the classroom teacher was out, but there was a aide there who primarily taught and i was there as a placeholder.) the teacher had come in before school and had left lessons for the day, which was great since i have no back up plans for subbing as of yet, having only started this subbing thing last week.

a really handsome guy came in and introduced himself and said if i needed anything to let him know. i was stressed reading the lesson and settling in, so i didn't ask where i could find him if i needed him. oh well. i'd figure it out.

the kids came. of course they were surprised i was there; most of the time they don't know beforehand (which i think is better). they settled in and the day started.

i could already tell who was going to be a pain - after doing this for as long as I have you can pick those kids out pretty quickly. by the 2nd hour i had already sent one down to the office (yes, one of the ones i thought was going to be an issue) for using inappropriate language. i didn't hear it, but 4 kids came up to tell me. so off to the office he went.

and that's when handsome guy walked in: "how is everything?"

"oh, i just sent M down to the office."

"well, i better get down there and meet him."

"um....why?"

"because as Principal that's kinda my job."

"......"

it must be a Principal thing: that's the second time in a week that the Principal introduced themselves and didn't tell me who they were. kinda annoying, but whatever.

brought them to lunch, then headed to the staff room to eat. i was the only one in there so i plopped myself down at a big table and started eating. one by one the teachers came in, heated their food or sat down - at any table but mine. i felt like i was back in elementary school, being the shunned kids. sometimes adults are no better than kids. i ate my food and disappeared to find my class.

the rest of the day was ok. we read for 45 minds (they read, i kept telling them to be quite), then brought them to gym. when i picked them up they were all kinda bouncing off the walls, yet we still had 45 mins of school left. by the end of it they were all kinda getting cranky, so i was happy when the day ended. even though they were only "eh" on the scale of "do you deserve to go out to an extra recess per your teachers suggestion if you were good?", i decided to bring them out anyway....and promptly walled 4 kids for acting badly.

and then it was over.

the best part?

the teacher called out again for tomorrow and guess who got the assignment?

the kids will be so thrilled....

Ramblings of A Substitute Teacher and Other Life Stuff.

So. Here I am, at a crossroads of my life. I've got a lot going on and changes about to happen and I'm holding on by a string as i try to transition and get a job and move and keep a roof over my head and..and..and....

so, i decide to substitute teach.

why not? it's quick, easyish money and i know i can do it well.

and, well it can offer entertaining fodder for my friends entertainment.

and then i thought "hum. maybe i should blog this."

because, apparently, ANYBODY who is ANYONE blogs.

at least according to my social media guru, Teddy (name to be withheld to protect the innocent.

and for myself: to prove I can actually DO SOMETHING and commit to it for 30 days.

and if i throw it out into the Universe, who knows what could happen.

or not.

but either way, i write.

so you in?

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